Disclaimer: The following article discusses themes of trauma and self-harm. Reader discretion is advised. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 (USA), 111 (UK), 13 11 14 (Australia), or your region’s crisis hotline.
September is Suicide Prevention Month: a time to remember the friends and loved ones who have tragically passed, and to advocate for safe, supportive spaces where healthy communication and healing guide the conversation. But how do you get these conversations going? We sat down with Ben Kohn and Bev Schwartz, the Executive Director and Public Policy & Development Coordinator of Hope for the Day (H.F.T.D.), and Chloe Benson, a DEI&B Specialist at Random Acts, for advice on how to get started.
10 Ways to Support a Friend or Loved One in Crisis
- Prioritize showing support over providing solutions. “In moments of crisis, it can be difficult to find the ‘perfect’ thing to say,” says Chloe. “But your focus shouldn’t be on solving the problem — it should be on creating a safe, supportive space and showing that you’re willing to listen.”
- Chloe’s Tip: “Grounding words like “‘I am here for you. You do not have to go through this alone’ or “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Whatever you are feeling is valid” can offer real comfort.”
- Listen without judgment. “Set aside your own stigmas,” suggests the H.F.T.D. team. “You may not be able to understand what they’re going through, and that’s OK. Let them truly express themselves without interruption.”
- H.F.T.D.’s Tip: “Pay attention to your posture. You can help someone feel more open to sharing by having open body language, like sitting at eye level and partially angling yourself towards them.”
- Ask “what,” not “why.” “Asking ‘why’ questions can sound accusatory,” explains the HFTD team. “Try to use ‘what’ questions (like ‘What happened?’ or ‘What’s going on?’) to help reassure them that you are eager to listen.”
- Tip: Brainstorm a few different questions you might ask a friend who is confiding in you about their mental health. If your initial question starts with “why,” try restructuring it — for example, “Why are you feeling this way?” can easily become “What’s on your mind?”
- Suggest healthier habits to replace any harmful ones. If you know for certain that someone is engaging in self-harm, offer safe alternatives for them to consider. “Some less harmful coping strategies include holding an ice cube or eating super sour candy,” the H.F.T.D. team suggests.
- Expert Tip: Make sure to suggest speaking with a mental health professional whenever you discuss topics related to self-harm.
- Take a step back if they are not ready to talk. It may take some time before someone is ready to open up about their mental health and headspace. “If the person is not ready to talk, that’s okay,” Chloe affirms. “You can gently reassure them: ‘I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.’”
- Connect them with helpful resources. It is wonderful that you are starting a dialogue with someone — but your conversation should be a stepping stone to mental health experts who can provide a professional level of support. H.F.T.D.’s Resource Compass can be a great starting point.
- Chloe’s Tip: “If they’re not already connected with a mental health professional, encourage them to seek support. If they’re open to it, you can help them explore options, whether that is finding a therapist or identifying community resources.”
- Continue to check in. “Crisis support isn’t a one-time conversation,” Chloe explains. Consistent follow-ups, even as they begin to feel better, shows that you care.”
- Tip: Make check-ins part of your regular routine. Regular phone calls, friendly hangouts, or even quick texts are simple but effective ways to stay plugged into someone’s life.
- Be patient with them as they begin their healing journey. Struggles with self-harm and suicidal thoughts do not disappear overnight, and neither should your support. “Self-harm is incredibly complicated,” explains the H.F.T.D. team. “The best support you can give is offering a trusting ear and connecting them with helpful resources.”
- Acknowledge your limits. Your mental and emotional health always need to come first. “It is okay to be present and supportive while also recognizing when you need rest, space, or time to care for yourself,” Chloe explains. “You are not their therapist — you are one part of their broader support system.”
- Chloe’s Tip: “Build in intentional self-care, especially after heavy conversations. Take 30 minutes to an hour to do something that grounds and restores you, whether it’s going for a walk, journaling, meditating, or simply resting.”
- Contact emergency services or a crisis lifeline if they are in immediate danger. Suicide prevention hotlines are not just for individuals in crisis — they are also great resources for concerned friends and loved ones. Call 988 (USA and Canada), 111 (UK), or 13 11 14 (Australia) to get connected with a trained counselor. If you live in a different country, click here for a full list of international crisis lifelines.
- Important: Call emergency services right away if you think someone could be in immediate physical danger.
Suicide Prevention Month: Frequently Asked Questions
When is Suicide Prevention Month?
Suicide Prevention Month takes place in September. World Suicide Prevention Day falls on September 10, and World Suicide Prevention Week takes place between Monday, September 8 through Sunday, September 14. 1
What is Suicide Prevention Month?
Suicide Prevention Month is a time to recognize all lives lost to suicide across the world and to raise awareness of the resources available in a time of crisis. Countless individuals, be it through friends and family or their own experiences, are impacted by suicide and have their own stories to share — and September, as much as any other month, is a time to listen, reflect, and change the conversation about suicide and mental health crises.2
How do I know if someone is suicidal?
“There are many signs that someone may be struggling with their mental health. Some of the signs may not be outwardly visible, so listening and observing must be done with great care,” explains the H.F.T.D. team. Here are some signs that a person might be struggling:
- What they talk about: Someone in crisis might talk about killing themselves, feeling hopeless, having no reason to live, being a burden to others, feeling trapped, and being in unbearable pain.
- How they act: Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss, or change, include:
- Using alcohol or drugs more
- Looking for a way to end their lives
- Withdrawing from activities
- Isolating from friends and family
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
- Giving away prized possessions
- Acting aggressively
- Feeling fatigued
- How their mood changes: People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Loss of interest in activities
- Irritability
- Humiliation/shame
- Agitation/anger
- Relief/sudden improvement
- If their health changes: There are health factors that can contribute to an increased risk of suicide, such as physical health conditions like chronic pain, traumatic brain injuries, and other mental health conditions.
- What their daily environment looks like: Certain environmental factors can add extra risk, including:
- Access to lethal means
- Prolonged stress or other stressful life events
- Harassment, bullying, relationship problems, or unemployment
- Lack of social support
- Lack of health care, especially mental health and substance abuse treatment
- What their family history looks like: A person can experience any of these historical factors that leave them with residual trauma:
- Previous suicide attempts
- Family history of suicide
- Childhood abuse
- Neglect or trauma
How can you make sure your own cup stays full while supporting friends and loved ones going through a mental health crisis?
“When a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis, it is natural to want to do everything possible to support them,” affirms the H.F.T.D. team. “However, it’s essential to establish healthy boundaries and prioritize your own well-being, such as maintaining regular eating and sleeping habits.”
Do not feel guilty about setting these boundaries for yourself, either. “It’s okay to say ‘I care about you deeply and I also need a little time to recharge,’” agrees Chloe. “Clear boundaries are essential for protecting your own mental health and sustaining your ability to show up for others.”
How can I support someone who has lost a friend or loved one to suicide?
“It’s important to listen without judgment,” Chloe explains. “Allow them to express whatever they need without trying to fix things. It’s helpful to check in regularly, too, and not just immediately after the loss. Grief can be ongoing, and your long-term support shows that you care.”
You may not understand how a person chooses to grieve their loss, and that’s okay. “Everyone processes loss differently,” continues Chloe. “Some may want to talk openly, and others may need some time to themselves. Follow their lead while letting them know you are available to speak whenever they are ready.”
What should I do if I think someone is in danger?
Take action immediately. “If you believe the person you are speaking to is an imminent threat to themselves or others, you want to ask directly, at least twice, ‘Are you having thoughts of suicide or self-harm? Are you having thoughts of suicide or self-harm?’ If the answer is anything other than NO, you may need to enact a crisis response,” advises the H.F.T.D. team.
“Your goal as a community member is to get their body safe, so you want to take them seriously, stay with them either on the phone or in person, and connect them to medical professionals,” they continue.
Final Thoughts
September may be Suicide Prevention Month, but you can show support, compassion, and kindness to individuals in crisis year-round — and it all begins with the right conversation. H.F.T.D. dedicates its time and resources to starting these conversations long before someone reaches a point of crisis.
To learn more, check out H.F.T.D.’s two-part “The Things We Don’t Say” program: a clinically-backed virtual workshop series that walks attendees through ways to address mental health stigmas head-on and normalize conversations about mental well-being in daily life.
This September, make kindness the center of your conversations — we are always stronger when we stick together.
